Ilse Hayes's blog

Well, I’m still paying the price for yesterday’s choices. I got up this morning and hit the gym…good for me! But I still felt bloated beyond belief. Man! Food is EVERYTHING in this weight loss battle! I can’t emphasize that enough. For years I’ve thought exercise was the main component but I finally get it!!! With out the right foods in my body I WILL NOT look or feel better. I was pigged out yesterday so I asked myself what am I doing different or NOT doing? What is causing me to steer off course? And the answer came immediately -- HUGE POT of VEGGIES!

I’ve only begun the week and I’m already slipping. Not good. I’ve got the munchies and to make matters worse I feel bloated and sluggish. I have to pull myself out of this FAST. This could turn ugly unless I do something quick. Okay first things first. Start chugging the water! I feel like such a hypocrite right now! As I’m writing this I’m actually snacking!!! I haven’t done this in so-o-o long. Why now?

Fear is the word that best describes what I felt when I first started my weight loss and body transformation mission in January of 2008. I can’t tell you the countless times I had sworn that THIS time I was going to do it!

With each fresh start there was a reoccurring feeling of disgust deep with in myself over how I looked. I believed this border line self-hate of my body would assure that I would do whatever it took to stick to a fitness program. I thought to myself that I couldn’t possibly hate my body this much and NOT be motivated enough to make a change. But with each attempt, a disappointing failure trailed closely behind. Sometimes I lasted an entire week without eating something I shouldn’t. Other times I actually completed weeks of loyally exercising, but when I saw minimal or no results, my motivation left me literally overnight.